I'll never let you go

I remember the first time we had our first long conversation,
Sipping our bubble tea, we talked about so many things.
We talked till it was too late, that I was nervous to go home
In fear of my dad scolding me.
We talked about so many things but there's one thing I remember.
I remember so clearly, so vividly like it was just yesterday.
We talked about change
How you're afraid of change but yet you wanted it
And I told you, change is always good.
Change is always for the better, there's always a purpose to it.
Like a caterpillar changing into butterfly, like a hermit crab changing its shell.

I remember the first time you held my hand
I was in the front passenger seat and you behind.
We didn't want anyone to know but we secretly held hands.
I remember so clearly, so vividly, like it was yesterday
You were playing with my fingers like they're precious.

I remember the day we had out first kiss
It was right before you had to leave.
I stopped you and told you that I've got something to tell you.
We moved closer and closer to each other and I gave you a peck on the lips
I then quickly but shyly moved away.
You were shocked but you gave me a smile
That warmed my heart.

For a while there, that smile never faded.
That smile made me smile
That smile made me laugh
The smile made me want you more
That smile made me love you so damn fucking much.
So much that I pushed you away,
that eventually, it brought us down to the dump
Later on, that smile made me cry as that very smile that made your eyes crinkle and you dimples appear and your teeth shine
That smile, was no longer a smile for me but a smile for someone else.

I remember the firs time we had a big fight.
I remember so clearly, so vividly, like it was just yesterday.
You said that we should break up.
We were in the car at a parking lot,
When I heard the word breakup, I freaked out.
I got out of the car and ran. I ran and I ran
Not too far away but just far enough to hide for a moment.
Somewhere I could hide from you yet be found by you.
Somewhere I could sit and cry till I gasp for air yet catch a breather.

You came after me
and held my hand so tight. So very very tightly as if you'd never let it go.
We both talked about that and apologized.
I remember so clearly, so vividly, like it was yesterday
You held my closely, hugged me tightly and embraced me as you said
" I will never let you go"

I'll never let you go and yet you no longer give me the same smile with those bright eyes and cute dimples
I'll never let you go and yet you no longer play with my fingers
I'll never let you go and yet there you are, holding someone else's hands
I'll never let you go and yer the lips you kiss are no longer mine
I'll never let you go and yet we never see each other again
I'll never let you go and yet we no longer talk to each oher
I'll never let you go and yet we you even reply me
I'll never let you go and yet we can't even look each other in the eyes.

I'll never let you go and yet, you did...

- Audrey Sia

AudreySia♥